Love builds on beautiful memories....

HOMILY by Rev. Fr. Rolando V. Dela Rosa, O.P. (December 3, 2005, Caleruega)

Good morning Jerome and Cheri. Your ordeal is now over. The month of preparation for this wedding, the nervous anxiety , the worries, the sleepless nights, the endless planning, despedidas, the disagreements on schedules, choice of food, clothes and venues- all these will soon be just memories.

So now, I invite you both to relax, take it easy, concentrate on every moment of this ceremony, to celebrate the fact that you are indeed getting married in this beautiful Chapel, and to ask the Lord for the strength you need to face the challenges of married life. Focus your attention on this ceremony. The moment is unrepeatable. Savor its significance and cherish its value.

Besides, compared to all the time you spent preparing for this wedding, this ceremony is indeed very short. And judging from the length of time devoted to it, the most important part of the wedding ceremony is no longer the exchange of marriage vows, but the picture-taking. that might not be ideal, but it has practical advantages.

Cheri and Jerome, I am sure you will have beautiful pictures and videotapes of your wedding. Don't lose them, consider them as one of your priceless conjugal possessions. Together with your marriage contract. Pace your pictures in an air-tight cabinet where moths and termites and humidity could not harm them. You know why? Because wedding pictures make your love transfixed in tme, ritualized carefully to become unforgettable. these pictures will be a source of strenth and inspiration. Love builds on beautiful memories.

This is one thing many couples forget. the moment they are married, their new- found security makes them complacent. they no longer exert effort to increasing their store of past joys and happiness. They surrender to routine. Routine kills enthusiasm. Would it not be tragic if, after ten years, you start kissing eeach other not out of love, but out of sheer determination?

This is why your wedding is held within the sacrifice of the Mass. the Mass is a celebration of a beautiful memory. the Eucharist is Christ's love, transfixed and ritualized in time, so we will not forget Him. When I elevate the host and the wine, Christ speaks to you through us, saying: "Jerome and Cheri, I love you even at the risk of losing my life. This is the kind of love you must have for each other. Do this, in memory of me." In marriage, you become eucharists for one another: like Jesus, you are transfigured to become a body given, a blood shed for each other. This is why you say when you exchange vows: "I will love you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, un til death do us part." You don't say: Until further notice.

Jerome, in a little while, you will declare to Cheri in the presence of all of us as witnesses,: "Cheri, although our marriage vows are spoken in a matter of minutes, these are promises that will last a lifetime." But, what guarantee do you have that your marriage will indeed last a lifetime? What guarantee do you have that your wedding will not end in separation? What guarantee do you have that your children will not live in a broken home? Jerome and Cheri, at this early, let me remind you: there is no human guarantee for a successful marriage.

If you rely on human strength, sooner or later you will grow weak. Even the strongest resolve and commitment become weak in time. The only guarantee for a successful marriage is the fact that marriage is not only a human invention, but a divine creation. Your falling in love was not a coincidence. It was part of God's plan. God called you to be together. And if you rely on his power and strength, if you put your faith in him, he will never disappoint you.

I remember one beautiful song that goes: "When Christ is allowed to enter our lives every storm becomes a calm, the tumult becomes peace, what cannot be done is done, the unbearable become bearable, and you pass the breaking point without breaking. For to walk with Christ is to conquer the storm." So beginning today, allow God to take charge of your life. Pray together. Pray for each other. tell him to take control of your life, for only when He is in control that you experience Peace.

In moments of difficulties, ask the Lord to make you, not only strong, firm and courageous. Ask him to give you the gift of understanding. Understanding is the prelude to forgivenness. And let's face it, everyday you will have many things to forgive each other for. We are not perfect. We commit mistakes. It is inevitable that once in a while you will hurt each other. You will even oppose each other on many issues and matters. But remember this, in marriage misunderstanding and opposition are inevitable; but quarrels are optional.

Finally, look to the example of the happily married couples around you. Their marriage may not be perfect, but they are happy, peaceful and thankful because they allowed Christ to take charge of their lives. Learn to do the same. With God at the center of your married life, there will be no mistakes, just lessons to be learned.

God bless you. Jerome and Cheri.

Headaches

Headache is a very common complaint of patients, at least in my practice. People are very worried about headaches for varied reasons: a hypertensive friend who had frequent headaches suddenly had a stroke, a friend who had headaches and was found out to have a brain tumor or a relative who died from aneurysm and complained of sudden intolerable headache. Most of these patients would want me to request for a brain CT or an MRI to see if there's something wrong with their brains.

Most of us have experienced having headaches once in a while. Others though have them almost every day. When headaches become so painful or so frequent, that's when we start to worry: could it be a symptom of a brain tumor or a warning sign of an impending stroke? How do you tell?

Chronic Headaches. The longer you've been suffering from headaches, the less likely it is that they indicate serious condition. When you suffer headaches for a period of several years with no change in intensity and no other symptoms, chances are they're harmless. There are different types of chronic headaches. Tension and Migraine Headaches.

Tension Headaches. This usually feels like a tight band around the head or a pain all over the head. This type of headache is frequent after a stressful day or improper body mechanics. Usually, it is brought about by tension due to emotional stress or problems. It is caused too by muscular spasms which produce tension in the muscles of the neck and head.

Migraine Headaches. This type of headache is much worse on one side and sometimes centered around or behind the eye. Some people see lights and different colors moving across their field of vision several minutes before the headache starts, we call this aura. Migraine headaches can be very excruciating. I had one patient who would bang her head on the wall attempting to get relief in the process. As common as it is, the etiology of migraine is still unknown, however, there is a great chance of having it when it runs in the family.

There are headaches that needs to be evaluated and warrant work- up. These three specific type of headaches should be evaluated by physicians.

Thunderclap headaches. This is a sudden and severe type of headache. This may be caused by rupture of an aneurysm or a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Aneurysms are weak areas in blood vessels which may rupture at any time. There are thunderclap headaches which are harmless, but, just the same, it is better to consult.

Some viral infections have headache as one of prodromal symtoms. When one has fever due to virus or bacteria, it maybe accompanied by headache.

There are a number of conditions that people fear:

Brain tumors. Headaches are not the very first sign of a brain tumor. Difficulty writing or speaking. weakness or clumsiness in a limb, epileptic seizures may signal trouble. Most headaches experienced by those with brain tumors are mild or sometimes non-existent.

High blood pressure. High blood pressure is a very uncommon cause of headache. Most hypertensives are asymptomatic that's why worldwide it is known as the "silent killer".

Stroke. People worry that severe headache is a stroke or will lead to one. This is not true. Symptoms of a stroke depend on which part of the brain is damaged. Neurologic symptoms such as weakness on one side or trouble with speech are common.

When you have headache, best thing to do is REST. When rest doesn't help, take a pain reliever such as Mefenamic Acid or Paracetamol. If troubles worry you much... try to find ways to solve your problems or see someone who is willing to listen.