Love builds on beautiful memories....

HOMILY by Rev. Fr. Rolando V. Dela Rosa, O.P. (December 3, 2005, Caleruega)

Good morning Jerome and Cheri. Your ordeal is now over. The month of preparation for this wedding, the nervous anxiety , the worries, the sleepless nights, the endless planning, despedidas, the disagreements on schedules, choice of food, clothes and venues- all these will soon be just memories.

So now, I invite you both to relax, take it easy, concentrate on every moment of this ceremony, to celebrate the fact that you are indeed getting married in this beautiful Chapel, and to ask the Lord for the strength you need to face the challenges of married life. Focus your attention on this ceremony. The moment is unrepeatable. Savor its significance and cherish its value.

Besides, compared to all the time you spent preparing for this wedding, this ceremony is indeed very short. And judging from the length of time devoted to it, the most important part of the wedding ceremony is no longer the exchange of marriage vows, but the picture-taking. that might not be ideal, but it has practical advantages.

Cheri and Jerome, I am sure you will have beautiful pictures and videotapes of your wedding. Don't lose them, consider them as one of your priceless conjugal possessions. Together with your marriage contract. Pace your pictures in an air-tight cabinet where moths and termites and humidity could not harm them. You know why? Because wedding pictures make your love transfixed in tme, ritualized carefully to become unforgettable. these pictures will be a source of strenth and inspiration. Love builds on beautiful memories.

This is one thing many couples forget. the moment they are married, their new- found security makes them complacent. they no longer exert effort to increasing their store of past joys and happiness. They surrender to routine. Routine kills enthusiasm. Would it not be tragic if, after ten years, you start kissing eeach other not out of love, but out of sheer determination?

This is why your wedding is held within the sacrifice of the Mass. the Mass is a celebration of a beautiful memory. the Eucharist is Christ's love, transfixed and ritualized in time, so we will not forget Him. When I elevate the host and the wine, Christ speaks to you through us, saying: "Jerome and Cheri, I love you even at the risk of losing my life. This is the kind of love you must have for each other. Do this, in memory of me." In marriage, you become eucharists for one another: like Jesus, you are transfigured to become a body given, a blood shed for each other. This is why you say when you exchange vows: "I will love you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, un til death do us part." You don't say: Until further notice.

Jerome, in a little while, you will declare to Cheri in the presence of all of us as witnesses,: "Cheri, although our marriage vows are spoken in a matter of minutes, these are promises that will last a lifetime." But, what guarantee do you have that your marriage will indeed last a lifetime? What guarantee do you have that your wedding will not end in separation? What guarantee do you have that your children will not live in a broken home? Jerome and Cheri, at this early, let me remind you: there is no human guarantee for a successful marriage.

If you rely on human strength, sooner or later you will grow weak. Even the strongest resolve and commitment become weak in time. The only guarantee for a successful marriage is the fact that marriage is not only a human invention, but a divine creation. Your falling in love was not a coincidence. It was part of God's plan. God called you to be together. And if you rely on his power and strength, if you put your faith in him, he will never disappoint you.

I remember one beautiful song that goes: "When Christ is allowed to enter our lives every storm becomes a calm, the tumult becomes peace, what cannot be done is done, the unbearable become bearable, and you pass the breaking point without breaking. For to walk with Christ is to conquer the storm." So beginning today, allow God to take charge of your life. Pray together. Pray for each other. tell him to take control of your life, for only when He is in control that you experience Peace.

In moments of difficulties, ask the Lord to make you, not only strong, firm and courageous. Ask him to give you the gift of understanding. Understanding is the prelude to forgivenness. And let's face it, everyday you will have many things to forgive each other for. We are not perfect. We commit mistakes. It is inevitable that once in a while you will hurt each other. You will even oppose each other on many issues and matters. But remember this, in marriage misunderstanding and opposition are inevitable; but quarrels are optional.

Finally, look to the example of the happily married couples around you. Their marriage may not be perfect, but they are happy, peaceful and thankful because they allowed Christ to take charge of their lives. Learn to do the same. With God at the center of your married life, there will be no mistakes, just lessons to be learned.

God bless you. Jerome and Cheri.